EDITING EXERCISE

PART 1 : EDIT YOUR SONG LYRIC EXERCISE

1.     Take your lyrics and record yourself or someone else reading them.

2.     Don’t listen to them yet.

3.     In 5 words or less, write down what your song is about.

4.     Put your song aside.

5.     Take 20 – 30 mins to do one thing around your house, garden or office from each action on the list below.

6.     Share your activities with the group on facebook.

IDENTIFY

·       Choose a space in your house, garden or office.

·       Identify what you need to sort, rearrange, replace and prune/discard.

·       Choose one thing to be sorted, one thing to be rearranged, one thing to be replaced and one thing to be pruned and/or discarded.

·       Now do those things. Here are some examples:

REARRANGE something small in your chosen space.

Eg. Move a chair, a pot plant or stationary item to another place . Doesn’t have to be those things, do what occurs.

Maybe it’s something you’ve been meaning to rearrange for a while. It could be your activities for the day.  Choose a small, simple action.

SORT the space or something in the space into like items.

Eg. Toothpaste with the toothbrushes, vase with the flowers, socks with their pairs, pencils in the pencil case etc.

REPLACE an item in your chosen space.

Eg. An empty box of tissues with a full one, a toilet roll, the water in a vase of flowers or the flowers, a light bulb, repot a plant into a bigger pot.

PRUNE AND DISCARD something in your chosen space.

Eg. The dead flowers in the vase, the empty toilet roll, that dress you haven’t worn in three years and never liked anyway.

CONGRATULATIONS – YOU HAVE JUST EDITED YOUR SPACE!

PART 2 EDIT YOUR SONG LYRIC

NOW YOU KNOW HOW EASY IT IS TO EDIT, LET’S TRY IT ON THE SONG!

1.     Read the five word (or less) description of your song.

2.     Listen to your song lyrics.

3.     Take 20-30 mins to IDENTIFY, SORT, REAARANGE, REPLACE AND PRUNE/DISCARD part of your song to bring it in line with your description.

4.     Use some of the suggestions and examples below to edit your lyrics or try your own ideas and notice how they change your song. If you like it, keep it, if you don’t, try something else.

5.     Post your edited song on facebook

IDENTIFY:

·       The sections, lines and words that match the description of your song.

·       Mark the sections, lines or words to keep and the sections, lines or words to work on.

·       Is your song in past, present or future tense or is it a mix? Which best matches the description?

·       Is your song in the first person (I, we), second person (You) or third person (He, she, they) Which best matches the description?

Eg. If your song is about the horrors of war, perhaps the lines about chipmunks might not work.

SORT:

·       Lines so that verses read as chapters in a story.

Eg. The lines about the chipmunks might work better being group together than being interspersed with the lines about park ranger.

·       Lines that might work as chorus lines.

Eg. Short lines such as “We are Chipmunks”, strong words such as “Chipmunk”, or repetition such “Chipmunk, chipmunk, chipmunk” can all work as the catchy hook rather than the second line of the third verse.

REPLACE

·       Strengthen lines by replacing everyday verbs (doing words) such as walk, sit, run with more specific action words such as kneel, gallop, stroll etc.

·       Rewrite lines so that verbs no longer end in “ing”.

                        Eg. “I am running to school” becomes “I run to school.”

·       Replace three words with one word that means the same thing.

Eg. “I love people such as you” could be changed to  “I love you.”

·       Replace verse, lines and words that don’t match the description of your song with ones that do.

Eg. “I hate eggs” in the fourth line of the first verse may not work if your song is about flying to the moon. Find a new line.

REARRANGE

·       Move your lines around so that the strongest line finishes a verse or chorus.

EG:

“Well, since my baby left me,

I found a new place to dwell.

It's down at the end of lonely street

at Heartbreak Hotel.”

Sounds better than

“Down the end of lonely street

Is Heartbreak hotel

Since my baby left me

I’ve found somewhere else to dwell”

·       Rearrange lines so that they preserve the natural order of speech.

Eg. Would you say, “The sun, it shone in my eyes,  brightly?” 

       You’re more likely to say, “The bright sun shone in my eyes.”

PRUNE/DISCARD

·       Adjectives (describing words)– see what happens when you take away adjectives from the front of nouns (things)

·       Discard little words such as “and”, “just”, “the”, “as”

·       Discard verses, lines and words that don’t match the description of your song.

CONGRATULATIONS – YOU HAVE JUST EDITED YOUR SONG!

SONG TOURS

Here's is a link to some musicians and songwriters talking about their songs for DIY Arts program on 3CR. It includes a tour that I put together about a song I wrote called "All aboard".
Come let me take you into the forest to search for a song.
http://www.3cr.org.au/peoplestoursofmusic

PERFORATED STEEL - A "crap" song by Rachel, Claire, Richard and Helen

A group lyric, finally written via a skype conference call that was plagued with lost connections, an audio challenged participant and magical host swapping.

PERFORATED STEEL by Rachel, Claire, Richard and Helen 19^th April 2011

My heart feels like perforated steel

When i look at you i spin like a wheel

When i'm moving so fast it's hard to feel

Oops I think I just broke a heel

Chorus

My perforated heart

Sharper than a dart

Rusty rough start

Perforates my heart

Let me off of this merry go raound

Quickly before i hear my heart pound

What i just lost won't quickly be found

Did any body hear that sound

Chorus

My perforated heart

Sharper than a dart

Rusty rough start

Perforates my heart

Bridge

Yesterday you felt like velvet

What i feel is real

Made me wish I'd worn my helmet

No I'm goin to make a deal

DEB AND HELEN'S CRAP SONG

Here's the first example of a crap song written by Deb and Helen over skype. Can you write a more crap one than this. This one took about 12 minutes.

This is an exercise to practice spontaneity and fun. The trick is to write the first thing that comes into your head and the only stipulation is that it is as crap as you can make it. In this song, each line in each verse and chorus rhymes, the bridge is the exception. Pretty crap, eh?! Brilliantly crap actually. ENJOY

Curtains

Lyrics by Deb and Helen

V1.

Curtains are a drag

Let's make them into rags

There is no point in making them look like dags.

Lets just throw them in a bag

Chorus

It's curtains

curtains tied up curtain undone there is no where to run

It's curtains

V2.

Once l open them the whole world is exposed

Then I wonder if they should be closed

I don't like the colour of them but nobody knows

That the sight of them gets up my nose

It's curtains

curtains tied up curtain undone there is no where to run

It's curtains

Bridge

I'm swinging on the curtains round and round the room

Waiting for someone to draw me in now lm swaying and l don't know where ive been

WEEK 1 : SONGWRITING EXERCISE

WEEK 1:  SONGWRITING EXERCISE 

There are three parts to this song writing exercise; a walk, a visit to a café or public space and a 20 minute writing exercise. Have fun!

PART 1: LYRIC WALK

You’ll need:

A pen

A notebook or some paper.

Your five senses: sight, hearing, taste, touch, smell

What to do:

1. Take a pen and piece of paper and go for a walk.

2. At five or ten minute intervals, stop walking and take out your paper.

3. Jot down a few short sentences using one sense to describe your environment. For example, you may write about what you see around you on your first stop.

4. Do this five times, each time using a different sense to record your environment.

5. Walk home.

6. Keep your writing, you’re going to use these ideas for a lyric exercise.

You may like to try the following exercise directly before or after your lyric walk

PART 2: CAFÉ CHARACTER SKETCH

You‘ll need:

A pen

Some paper or notebook

Money for a coffee or a tram ticket and cake.

What to do:

1. Go to a café or some other place, such as a tram, train, footy match, backyard, anywhere where there are people.

2. Grab yourself a coffee and cake if you need it and take a seat.

3. Have a look around at the other people in the space.

4. Write a few quick responses to the one or two people that you find yourself looking at:

i. Who catches your eye?

ii. What is it about them that made you look at them in particular?

iii. Where are they?

vi. Why do you think they are there?

V. How are they behaving?

5. Finish your coffee

6. Head on home – you may like to try a lyric walk on the way home.

PART 3: PUT IT TOGETHER AND WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?

1. Take out your notes from your lyric walk and café character sketches.

2. Have a read through.

3. Now using the “crap” song exercise, take no more than 20 minutes to write one verse and one chorus. If it’s going well, and you have time try writing another verse or two.

4. Post your draft in facebook documents.

WELCOME